That poor old man in torn clothes fighting others in queue to step inside the precincts of 'Nirmal Hriday' (a charitable institution) has left an indelible mark on my psyche. His wrinkled face with hunger writ large on it and his deep sunken eyes groping unsuccessfully to get inside to have clothes and food being distributed has become difficult for me to shove off.
This pathetic figure's struggle for his basic survival compelled me to leave the plush cushioned seat of my car. And as I approached him, he came towards me with folded hands anticipating some solace. Words were simply needless. His eyes swelling with tears portraying his misery were enough to ruffle anyone's conscience. And to pacify these pangs of mine I too did my bit of charity.
However on my way back I was forced to think how in our daily lives we take so many things for granted and never realize their importance. At that moment the food, the house, the cars and other material possessions seemed no less than a luxury to me. But in the mad rush for more and more, we tend to forget how privileged we are to have them. Our grudges with the present and our soaring ambitions never let us be satisfied with whatever we have. This never ending urge for more never lets us to be thankful for what we already have.
This trail of thought made me recall the lines from one hymn sung during school days
'Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your blessings and see what Lord has done.....'
And yes eating good food, having loving parents and caring family, a warm home etc. are no less than a blessing.
The sight of that old man had become a spark to ignite this introspection of my internal being and be cathartic enough to let my soul be purged off even though momentarily for which I had become indebted to him.
This incident truthfully brought forth the realization that we need to be thankful for whatever we have; this realization that gets clouded often. The thought process had become too taxing by now but then weighty issues are that way only!
To see one’s thoughts & sentiments and emotions in print puts one on cloud nine. one's ego is inflated and the pride knows no bounds. How does one justify the feeling of having achieved laurels in one’s own eyes, Is it the extension of narcissism or the hunger lurking deep inside us for appreciation by fellow human beings or mere pangs of feeling superior to others. However the urge to be recognized and be famous is certainly gratified by venting our thoughts this way. Conforming to one reason or perhaps all I too am joining this league of would be famous authors in the belief that churnings of my mind might appeal to others also apart from me.